Call To Council

 

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(Watching the peaceful protest followed by angry rioting in Charlotte, N.C. last night, it was as if I was watching a bad movie that has evolved into our shared life. Is violence the way? I understand it, but I don’t believe that it is the way. It has definitely become part of the “stew,” the mix and the unfolding process that seeks to educate and inform us about how we are missing the boat. It seeks to WAKE US UP!!! Is it understandable? Of course it is. Emotions are not just spilling over, they are spewing and erupting with force. It is way beyond time for change.  Even though you may not like what you see, allow it to inform, guide and direct who you are called to be today; how you are being directed and inspired to show up and serve. We are way beyond the dress rehearsal stage!)

Lost souls are falling down into the darkness
Falling by the wayside
As we continue to fail them one by one.

We fail them when we forget who we truly are at our heart center
And instead, mask as lies, deceipt and disingenuousness.
We fail them when we place the false idols of corruption and greed
Before the basic goodness of loving care and right action.
We fail them when injustice and inequality takes a front seat
To honouring the sacredness of each white, red, yellow, black and brown soul.

All lovingly and deliberately placed on this earth plane for their highest good 
And for our own.

Every loss, every missed step, misstep, 
Every unheard bellow for salvation and heaven on earth
Calls us to step up our “game,”
To take our seat at the council table for all of humanity.

To declare our intention to
Do good
See good
Recognise it
Praise it
Inspire it for all who come under our radar and beyond
To shine God’s merciful Light brightly, consistently…

There are lives whose continued existence are dependent
On our non-actions or inspired actions. 
Who are you called to be in this moment
And what, if anything, are you being called to do?
Now.  This very day.  This precise moment. 
Not an off in the distance hope without shape and form,
But a crystal clear vision that is honed with precision
Firmly rooted in the now.

Nicola Karesh, copyright © 2016 – All rights reserved.

Came To Believe…

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Came to believe that a power greater than myself could return me to sanity.

My personality has the sweet side which allows me to dance through life with tremendous delight and joy.  I am happy with myself.  I feel playful.  I look for the goodness from innocent, untainted eyes.

Then, at times, I feel the hard, jagged edges.  I had hoped that with sufficient “application,” those rough edges would magically be smoothed away.  Maybe they will one day.  For now, my world can get narrow with the fierce heat of anger.  It can wind itself into a tight coil that is ready to strike the enemy.

I could feel my lost mind this morning… looping, re-playing, searching for the fuel to keep the “argument” going.  It dawned on me that my personality may never lose this tendency to defend and rise to attack. 

Through the Grace of God, I thought to turn it over. 

Lord, help me.

And there is the window, the opportunity to soften.

I don’t go from attack mode to showing my soft under-belly in a second.  No.

It starts with awareness that I am off kilter… out of synch with my heart.

Oh.

Thank You God for that moment for me to re-orient myself in the darkness.

I think of steps 1 and 2, feeling my powerlessness and the awareness that a power greater than myself can return me to sanity.

Lord, Lord, Lord.

The words of the Serenity Prayer come to mind and I feel them through and through…

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Maybe my personality will always be this continuum of loving and fearful tendencies.

What I can do is shine the Light of Love on the fear.  The willingness has got to be there, because that fear gets into a locked position that doesn’t want to budge.  It wants the satisfaction of a fight… the familiar hard lines of focused fire and then known dark caves where sadness and hurt reside.  A place to retreat and lick old wounds, while the hero does battle.

Loving something thorny, prickly and ugly is not easy.

But it can be done with willingness and determination and the belief that love can be the answer.  With love, there is a possibility that speaks to my soul.  It is the only thing that makes sense.

And so, lifetime gaping wounds feel acknowledged, soothed and held.

Nicola Karesh, copyright © 2014 – All rights reserved.

Phoenix Rising

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Phonenix Rising

Burning that penetrates so deep and wide
You could rip your skin right off.

Peel it back to expose the untouched for sweet relief. 

Pushed to the edge of powerlessness
and it now occurs to you to simply
let go and jump.

Jump right in and taste the swirling waters
without any paddle.

Let the burn sear to the bone
smouldering hot
taking everything with it
and you cease to ask for mercy
because the time has come
to enter the flames
to give yourself over
to what will consume you
burn you right out
to a pile of ashes
where if odds are in your favour
a phoenix will arise.

Nicola Karesh, copyright © 2012 – All rights reserved.

Eternal Moonlight

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Eternal Moonlight by Nicola Karesh

(written while on retreat….)

Free is giving birth to that wail of sorrow that feels your pain
… my pain …
not holding it in so it becomes
muted and has no voice
I am free to be me when the laughter wants to burst forth and I let it.
“What’s the joke?” you say.
“I don’t know,” I say.
On the surface, there’s nothing.
But somewhere below,
I can feel the current of joy
and I grab hold
and ride it.
The freedom to be me shifts
with the passing of time
As this me erupts into the next
Time shapes, molds, cajoles, wears down
And I am in this now
and this now
and this now
and this…
Now
Am I free to be me?
Sometimes, I show up and I ache
with an eternity of sadness.
The sadness that wants trees to live forever
and tigers to have homes.

Sometimes, I show up, fierce and growling.
I might as well wear a sign that reads
Tread lightly.
Danger ahead.

Sometimes, life feels too much
and I want to burrow down
deep in a hole
to never come out

unless…

someone or some thing speaks softly,
sweetly, gently… inviting
like the lullaby of the leaves
And my spirit sighs
It recognises God in your depths
And what could be more
freeing than that?

Sometimes, I open the door.
I free myself
For I remember,
The real me dances with the Divine
in eternal moonlight
It is the One who holds life itself
in Its grasp
who knows no bounds
or restrictions
How could you curtail freedom?

It may take itself on a royal adventure
that mimics hell.
At some point before the dawning of eternity
Inevitably,
It will break free to abandon the ride.

For remember…
we are meant to dance with freedom
under a moonlit sky
eternally blessed
with Divine Light.

Nicola Karesh, copyright © 2014 – All rights reserved.

It’s About Damn Time!

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It’s About Damn Time! by Nicola Rickards Karesh

If I were a black man in today’s society, I doubt that I would be able to keep a level head.

I am considering whether or not to go for brutal honesty, or to carefully weigh my words for fear of inciting the rabble to rouse!

Dial the years back a few… change my gender, recorded ethnicity so someone can squeeze my rich heritage into a tiny box,  keep emotions and personality as they were…

I’d be liable to be running wild in a street, protesting, burning a GMO field or two or three or…. not pulling over in a remote area for anyone no matter that I see a badge or a uniform.  I am driving to the well-lit, populated parking lot, so I have a witness with nothing going down in the dark, behind-the-scenes, alley. 

I doubt that I’d be embracing turn the other cheek mentality.  How long would I have to intern under Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., or be a devout disciple to Jesus to be crucified without a physical fight? These men had fire in their bellies and peace lighting their hearts.  I wasn’t that enlightened back then and it’s questionable, even though I’d like to think that I’m noble, if I would be an angel when greeted with a constant, barrage of darkness.

Lift me up God. Show me the holy way.

At 18, I had fire, but peace was not yet a permanent fixture in my house.  I’m sure I’d be making a list and thinking up ways to get retribution.  I wouldn’t be forgetting anything! Every wrongful death, unwarranted imprisonment, misuse of force and power, would be notches on my belt and by hell or high water, I’m going to get every one of you back.  See, I hadn’t learned the serenity prayer yet. 

I would have the wild-eyed bravado to think I can affect change and if the now corrupt, legal channels weren’t working for me, then who am I to become a doormat? 

Complacency has never been my middle name.I would have the wild-eyed bravado to think I can affect change and if the now corrupt, legal channels weren’t working for me, then who am I to become a doormat? 

I’m surprised that there aren’t more riots.  I’m surprised there isn’t more destruction.  I’m not surprised that people are beginning to rise up.  It’s about damn time.

Nicola Rickards Karesh, copyright © 2014 – All rights reserved.