I looked outside and was shocked to see lions in the backyard. One especially had a humongous head and I felt immediate fear for my pets, myself and my family. My dogs I think, were darting around excitedly under the lions’ watchful eyes. I believe after enough stimulation, one lion eventually charged. My sinking acceptance as the younger dog may have gotten caught. I don’t know. I rushed to close all of the doors and windows to feel safe and secure.
You realise that this is all a dream and there were no lions in my beautiful garden in North Carolina!
The dream stayed with me and something about the symbolism spoke to me. There is surprise with the presence of something wild, untamed and definitely unexpected in what I consider safe, familiar and protected space. There is an impulse to lock it out and barricade myself away from danger. Concern for my loved ones whom I see as vulnerable and open to real danger. Alertness to “man all stations.” An old familiar feeling of fearfulness and insecurity. Lying awake in my bed, looking up at a wall of windows, with all kinds of imagined and unimagined dangers beyond.
Something about my feeling being out in the open unsuspecting of any danger, brought me to my knees. There was a helpless feeling that in the past has triggered much sadness, frustration and rage.
What can provide me comfort and security when I feel like a scared child?
That night, in my mind, helpless and powerless to something that seemed so much larger. Something I can’t manage, control or contain.
When something has me on my knees, there is the sense now that my opening to freedom is to surrender. To turn it over to God.